The Meddler


Feminist Rating: ♀ ♀ ♀ ♀ 


Overall Rating: ✮✮✮✮✮

The Meddler stars Susan Sarandon as a meddling mother named Marnie who is desperately trying to be a part of her daughter Lori’s (Rose Byrne) life with little success. Marnie is the kind of mother who inserts her opinions on your romantic partners, tries to be friends with your friends, and constantly texts to make sure you haven’t been murdered by a serial killer. Basic mother stuff. However, there is a lot more to Marnie than being the annoying, nagging mom with boundary issues. She is also dealing with the death of her husband. 

When I first saw the trailer for this movie, I thought it was going to be a goofy, chirpy, light-hearted, feel-good comedy with no originality and little substance. The sort of movie that you may later say wasn’t bad but you’ve already forgotten about it in a week. Even the posters made it look like one of those quickly thrown-together comedies that are released on Mother’s Day. Don’t be fooled by the misleading advertisements. 



Marnie is a complicated character. She wants to help others but she rarely wants to help herself. She feels guilty about having her husband’s money and she feels estranged from her daughter who is handling her grief differently than her. In attempt to be close to her, she moved across the country to Los Angeles though she’s a New Yorker at heart. Lori doesn’t appreciate her mother’s role in her life the way that Marnie wants her to which causes her to channel her motherly energy into the lives of others by paying for a wedding and swallowing a handful of marijuana. 
From watching the trailer, you may think that Marnie’s romantic entanglement with Zipper (J.K. Simmons) is a major sub-plot but that’s actually not the case. Zipper is a charming ex-cop who rides a Harley Davidson and raises chickens. Their relationship is fairly underwhelming and appropriate from a narrative viewpoint. Marnie slowly comes around to the idea that she could love again but the romance is not what causes her growth--it is a sign of her growth. 

There is a quiet undercurrent of real human emotion underneath the quirky nature of the film. It is full of small moments that truly capture the struggle of dealing with the death of a loved one. One of these moments is when Marnie says that it’s been a year since her husband died by Lori corrects her, saying it’s been two. It’s these small, one-off moments that accurately depict a person grappling with grief. It’s one thing to play the stereotypical nagging mother who worries too much and another thing to embody a woman who is using obsessive mothering to combat guilt, sadness, and helplessness. This is what puts Sarandon in a league all her own. Speaking of talented women, The Meddler was directed by Lorene Scafaria, director of Seeking a Friend at the End of the World



Though she is a big personality with a lot to say, there is a lot of subtlety to Marnie. The film isn’t just about her struggle to be close with her daughter, it’s the story of living through grief. What’s truly great about the movie is that it is not at all depressing or somber nor is it a vapid comedy with no emotional depth. It is a delightful movie with a lot of heart, emotion, and honesty that you should definitely watch with your mom.

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